oh boy, life's messing with me these days.
i'm actually thinking about going back to school. not to one of my old schools though, the only possible choice would be my brother's school.
i really wanna get it over with, but the simple thought of being captured inside this maze of anxiety, paranoia and expectations again for three goddamn years is driving me fucking nuts!
on the one hand i think i owe it to myself, you know, giving life one more try and moving on and stuff, on the other hand i'm afraid i might fail and disappoint everybody. everybody - as in my parents, my brother and myself. but then i think again that it can't really come any worse. which is why tomorrow i'll hopefully have the guts to go there and get my application signed.
oh my god, this life is killing me.